Selected Prison Literature...

Dear Diary,

Yesterday in the shower, Big Bertha told me that as long as my 163 years of incarceration were still in effect, I was her "bitch" and not to get any other ideas.

Lord, was this what Momma meant when she said, "Now honey, a woman's always gotta know her place in this world"?

Then yesterday in the lunch room, Mad Maude slipped a note into my meat loaf saying she knew what I was up to and not to think for a second that just cause I was Big Bertha's "bitch," she wasn't going to come claiming her piece of "tits and ass."

Yesterday I also snuck a metal spoon from the kitchen and began digging an escape tunnel behind my bed. Between Big Bertha's clogged sinusus and the squeaking of the rats at night, there is enough noise for me to dig without the guard hearing.

They say tomorrow is green jello day at dinner. I'm really looking forward to it. I just hope Big Bertha will let me eat it, instead of claiming it as her own...